📈 How to Grow by Asking for (and Receiving) Feedback...

by Tanye ver Loren van Themaat of Thundamental

4 Steps to Structuring Effective Feedback for Growth

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We all crave those "aha!" moments that propel us forward in our careers. But have you noticed how often those breakthroughs hinge on a single piece of feedback – a comment on a presentation, a different perspective on a situation, or a fresh take on a sales pitch?

The truth is, that effective feedback is a rare gem. Fear of offending, straining relationships, or simply not knowing where to begin can leave us with tepid, generic responses that fall into one of two categories:

• The Cheerleader: All sunshine and rainbows, pile on the praise without any real substance. It feels disingenuous and unhelpful. They fear offending you. They speak love without truth.
• The Critic: A brutal takedown devoid of context or solutions. It leaves you feeling deflated and discouraged. They don’t see the person (and the bigger picture). They speak truth without love.

It's not enough to simply ask for feedback, you need to structure it so that it can fuel growth. Here’s how…

Cracking the Feedback Code

1. Set the Stage for Radical Candor

• Encourage Honesty: Lead with something like, "I want to improve, and that means getting real feedback."
• Embrace Openness: Show you're ready for constructive criticism by highlighting areas you'd like to improve. "I'm eager to improve, and honest feedback is crucial."
• Express Gratitude: Let them know you genuinely value their insights.

2. Ask for Advice, Not Feedback

Asking for feedback can often be too vague because it doesn’t focus on what your eventual outcome must be: how to improve. Reframe your request by asking for advice instead of feedback. "Advice" is future-focused, prompting solution-oriented guidance. It's more specific, constructive and actionable than vague, praising feedback.

“Can I ask for some advice on how I can improve this”? instead of “Can you give me some feedback?”

3. Crafting Powerful Questions

Rephrase for Impact: Instead of "How did I do?" (sounding insecure), try:

• "What can I improve next time?"  
• "How can I make my presentations more effective?"
• "Did you understand the main point right away?"

Be Specific: Instead of vague requests, pinpoint areas for improvement.

• "How could I have made the opening more impactful?"
• "Can you tell me if a specific example resonated?"

Brainstorm Together: Turn them into a co-pilot:

• "What do you think of this example? Can you suggest another?"
• "How could I have presented this differently?"

Remember, receiving feedback is also a skill. Mastering it accelerates growth.

Bonus: The Art of Receiving

Now that you've set the stage, it's time to hone your receiving skills:

• Actively Listen: This isn't a courtroom! Soak it in without getting defensive.
• Take Time to Process: Don't react impulsively. Reflect on the feedback and formulate a response.
• See it as a Gift: Feedback shows they care about your growth.
• Summarise & Next Steps: Briefly recap what you heard and outline the next steps.

Bonus Tip: Adam Grant suggests giving yourself a "second score" – how well you received the feedback.

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